An Education in Art History at the Louvre

Me at the Louvre vigorously demonstrating that I AM an art snob.

The painting La Nuit by Claude Joseph Vernet prominently hung in the Sully section has always been one of my favorite offerings of the Louvre. Now, let me explain why I am uniquely qualified to comment on fine art.

When I was in college I discovered that I had certain unique and special gifts. I had a roommate who frequently experienced rather bizarre (and usually very vocal) dreams. As a loyal friend, I felt it my solemn duty to heighten his dream experiences by providing colorful commentary and spot-on interpretations as to the meaning of his dreams. All of my roommates were quite impressed with my abilities to interpret the subconscious mind and strongly encouraged me to consider Psychology as a major. However, I felt that a formal education might actually serve to limit "my gift" by stiffling my creativity. I was genuinely concerned that a restrictive and formalistic education would likely impose too much structure on my free wheeling approach to the psychobabble that is "dream reconstruction and analysis." So I stuck with Physical Education and Zoology knowing that if I actually ever got hired as a high school teacher that I would have the ability to spread my unique gifts and influence young minds in a greater sphere. In my apartment complex at Ricks word soon got out that I could, indeed, provide accurate and insightful analysis on dreams. People came from "all over" to have me provide profound psychological insights as to their subconscious. Well, to be precise, it was only two guys who actually sought me out--a guy from room 116 whose dad was a psychiatrist, and this other weird looking dude who occasionally hung out at our apartment and who had been at Ricks for at least a decade working on his AA degree. Regardless, I felt pretty important all the same just knowing that other people recognized by ability to figure out complex and interesting stuff. This experience (among others) caused me to realize that I really do have a knack for getting inside people's heads.

Now, back to the Louvre...As we were strolling through the Louvre, we happened to come across an art professor from some very important institution of higher education (I'm pretty sure that she was in grad school longer than I attended public schools K-12.) She looked nothing like the French hottie, Audrey Tautou, who starred with Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code. In fact, she was the exact opposite of Mlle. Tautou, who (in the movie, at least) also happens to know lots of cool stuff about art history. At any rate, the She-wolf and I watched this tragically dressed, unkempt humanities expert escort a group of about 10 art history majors through the Louvre. It was fascinating. They hung on her every word. She was the picture of the Socratic method, asking hard questions specifically designed to cause her young disciples to stretch their minds. Her students were failing miserably to keep up with her vast and inexhaustible fund of knowledge. It was truly riveting to watch. I too was briefly taken in with her expanse of knowledge. We followed her around several rooms watching her dispense her expertise like a Jedi knight wields his light sabre. That is, until she she stumbled! As it happened, she attempted to enlighten her cadre of padawans concerning La Nuit by Claude Joseph Vernet. She launched into a great lecture about light and life and the obvious message being communicated by Vernet through this work of art. She explained his background as a Maritime artist, the deep impressions that the Mediterranean Sea made on his psyche as a young man, the age in which he lived and his tutelage under another great Maritime artist, Bernadino Fergioni. She then attempted to pull details of the paintings into this construct and explain the theme of light and what it represented. I was flabbergasted! I had only viewed the painting for about a minute and knew that she was WAY off base. I wanted to scream, "Fraud!" then and there and expose her for her obvious heresies. What she was piling on this naive and unsuspecting group of students was purely, and simply a bunch of CRAPPOLA! I had taken only a cursory look at the painting, but was able to almost instantaneously understand its meaning and purpose.

Let me explain. In the first picture above, I am pointing to the focal point of this painting. It's hard to tell because of the illegal flash that Sheila used to capture my pin-point analysis. However, if you look closely at the second picture it's clear to see what I am pointing to--a fisherman! Everything else in this work of art is rendered superfluous when you consider this fact. The light of the moon and the soft glow of the campfire? Diversions for the real theme of this masterpiece. Clearly the fisherman is the largest human form in this painting. This communicates something about how Vernet viewed his Maritime world. The fisherman is naturally tall and rugged. He is looking away from the frivolity and warmth of the fire. Indeed, he is a mighty historical figure! He has obviously spurned all else to pursue his passion. He is fishing at night because for centuries "men of the rod" have know that "the bite" often times comes on best in the darkness of night. Yes, he knows that the darkness of this night is his friend. The purpose of the light in this painting is to enhance and provide depth and texture to his objectives. Captured in this masterpiece is the warm light cast by the moon over his shoulder to encourage and brighten the lonely night. In considering the nonsensical and heretic interpretation provided by our so-called art expert at the Louvre, the words of Shakespeare immediately came to mind, "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool." Say what you will about "shape and lines," "color and composition," or even "historical context," for those with eyes to see and ears to hear, the relevancy and message of La Nuit could not be clearer: "I fish therefore, I am." And to think people waste so much time and money studying art history, when an amateur with a keen eye and a clever mind was able to comprehend in seconds all that Vernet was trying to communicate in La Nuit! After sharing my most outstanding and fresh insights with the janitor at the Louvre who spoke very little English, I was seriously wondering if the Louvre might possibly be interested in pursuing my obvious talents for interpretative art analysis, despite not having a formal education in Art History. Following this post, I suspect that members of my vast worldwide readership might even start a petition for me to be bestowed with an honorary degree in some field of humanities. If so, I would appreciate a doctorate degree of some kind, preferably from some smarmy sounding European University because my Juris Doctorate from a University in Utah somehow just doesn't make me feel all that smart.

In reality, we loved the Louvre. We were inspired by the grandeur of man's artistic achievements and felt incredibly small and insignificant in the shadow of these monumental works. The edifice of the Louvre itself is an amazing showcase for what man can envision and create. And yes, I do prefer my interpretation of La Nuit!