Wednesday, April 16, 2014

There's Way too much Estrogen in my Life!

We all have secrets--some of which can cause deep embarrassment.  One of my mildly embarrassing secrets is that I enjoy unwinding in the evening in front of the television with my wife. It's not so much that I hate to admit watching the boob-tube--I mean, doesn't every man enjoy unwinding in the evening snuggling with their best girl, curled up on the couch under a soft fleece blanket enjoying the warm fire and drinking some hot spicy and fruity herbal tea while watching something relaxing?  Whoa! Now that sounded so feminine that the loyal readership that is Darrell's Yakimania might start to wonder if I have acquired a cat! 

It's not so much that I watch television while snuggling with my wife under a fleece blanket that's cause for concern; rather, it's what we have been watching.  It all started with Downton Abbey.  We were planning a second trip to London to visit Chelsea when I became aware of this series. I know its viewership is largely female, but what the heck, we were considering a side trip to actually tour Highclere Castle (the real Downton Abbey), so what harm is there in watching a few episodes?   Thus, it all began rather innocently. Step by step, inch by inch I found myself sucked into the very feminine media world that is dominated by Lifetime, Oxygen and PBS.  Last Sunday, we had quite enjoyed another episode of Call the Midwife, and I realized, I need help--there's way too much estrogen in my life at the moment!  I used to watch very manly and inane programs like Lizard Lick Towing, anything on ESPN and The Vikings.

So I told the She-Wolf, I have to start regulating what I watch.  With each Call the Midwife episode, I can almost feel my bi-ceps shrinking.  In truth, I am losing the essence of my manliness by what I am watching on television.  So, we (and by this I mean me) resolved that for every hour of high-feminine-programming that we watch, I will watch at least an hour of something uber manly--you know something like reruns of Combat, anything with Arnold Schwarzenegger or the Ultimate Fighter.   So, if you happen to be cruising through the recorded queue of programs on my remote, and see that someone has recorded Dance Moms, puuleeeeease for the sake of my pride assume this is something the She-wolf is watching.