Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Wolverine


First I must apologize to my vast worldwide readership for taking the past two months off, but I have been extremely busy with yard projects for Sydney's wedding reception, traveling to California for Sydney's wedding, and in general, simply entertaining guests. The past two months have been truly eventful for the Super Smarts. Temple endowments for Shea and Sydney, along with Sydney's temple sealing to Nick were the highlights to be sure. Somewhere along the way I ended up with a really cool greenhouse, which is fodder for a future post.


Seeing Snick's (Syd and Nick) wedding made me think about my relationship with the Shewolf. We have been married for 30 years on June 21st. We had a conversation the other day which truly defines our relationship. The Shewolf was deeply engaged in a book (her favorite pasttime) when the following conversation took place :


"So, when you think of me as a super hero, who do you think of?"


The Shewolf, not looking up from her book, replied:

"I don't really think of you as a superhero."


"Yeah but when you do think of me as a superhero, who comes to mind."


The Shewolf, briefly glancing up, tersely stated:

"Well that's just it, I think of you more as a husband and a father--not really a super hero."


Finally, in frustration and not really understanding her point, I demanded:

"Okay, but when you do think of me and then think about superheroes, who comes to mind?"


By this time, the Shewolf was visibly perturbed and without any thought whatsoever, simply responded with the first superhero that popped into her brain.

"Superman."


"Noooo! Not Superman! Guess again."


"Batman?"


"Noooo! You're not even trying! You're just naming the first superheroes that come to you. Seriously, look at me. Now think superhero. Who comes to mind?"


Okay. The Shewolf was now really ticked. I had pulled her completely away from her book; all the while, I was furiously motioning to my imaginery sideburns, and making really cool Wolverine motions and noises. Still, all she could muster was, "Okay Big Guy, who do you want me to say?"


"Are you kidding? The Wolverine!!! Don't you see it?!"


The Shewolf turning back to her book, muttered something under her breath like: "Whatever you say Big Guy."


I sulked for a few minutes, but soon got over it.


About a week later, as I was zipping to work on my Candy Apple Red Scooter, it dawned on me...Well, actually, it was more like a revelation--like a ton of bricks landing on my head and crushing my tender male ego. It was truly a moment of Zen. I realized that I am undermining my efforts to be viewed as a superhero by my wife because of the stupid things I do. Riding a Barbie-Scooter to work, growing pink roses and in general being so nice that's its virtually impossible to muster the rugged surliness that is the Wolverine--these things scream "Dork", not superhero.

So I thought to myself...Hmmmm...Maybe I need to come up with a superhero that truly describes my essence--something that I can actually live up to. Unfortunately, "Scooter Boy" and "Petunia Boy" were the only superhero names that made any sense when I reflected upon my life. But what special powers would superheroes with names such as that possess? When the chips are on the table, does mankind really want to have to depend on "Scooter Boy" or "Petunia Boy" to save the day? Would being thought of as such a superhero really improve in any appreciable way my standing with my wife? Afterall, more than anything, men need to believe that their wives view them as superheroes. It may come as a surprise to my vast worldwide readership, but I have never really been that enamored with the truth, particularly when to comes to me and how my wife views me. No siree! I am perfectly comfortable with fantasyland and have been for many years, which may explain my sincere disappointment when the Shewolf did not see in me rather obvious Wolverine like qualities.

8 comments:

Megan Potter said...

This conversation was intreguing so I read on. So Congrats on your 30 year anniversary in a few weeks, which is also my brother Phil's birthday. You guys are awesome.
And so is the point we should lie to our husbands and buy into thier fantasy world to boost their ego and go around calling them some superhero name? Like "you DO look like batman in that car" or, "you are my superhero" or "How's wolverine today?" etc? Is that what husband's want?
Anyway, how bout "Super Stake President" with the cutest babe wife AND she's the Super Relief Society President! How's that for SUPER SMARTS!!

Darrell said...

You are so perceptive. That's precisely what what men (including Robert) want! Thx for the kind words.

Sara said...

Awesome post! Ricker used to try to tell us he was Batman. My kids don't believe I am the real Syndrome anymore, so if you ever want to borrow my costume it is up for loan. Your post led me to interrupt Sara reading and ask here the same question. She said Mr. Incredible. I think it was an answer along the same lines as Sheila's "Superman." She just wanted me to leave her alone so she could get back to her book. It worked. I'll take Mr. Incredible.

Sydney said...

Only someone who resembled Wolverine could invent the family motto "scratch and claw." if that's not proof you are Wolverine, I don't know what is.

Darcee said...

I've always thought of you as Mighty Mouse. I know you think of that as insulting, but I always thought he was cool. He can fly, right?
On another note, does this mean we are only going to be able to address you as Wolverine from now on?

Saimi said...

Really, with your wife as the "Shewolf" it only makes sense that you are the "Woverine" Was there any question.....Ride on!

cheryl said...

Darrell, it is true what Rqngi said. Ricker used to tell the kids he was Batman and everyday when he would leave for work he would say, "I'm off to meet Robin at the Bat Cave." They actually bought it for quite a while. They all had matching underoos. Remember those? I even made some for
Rick. I loved your converstation with Sheila. I'm
sure you could easily be Wolverine in her eyes... just call it bad timing.

Anonymous said...

I will now and always think of you as "President Wolverine." How reverent will that be. You do need a theme song so that when we see the picture of you racing to help the greater good with your tie blowing in the wind it will have the full effect.
Now I will be trying to figure out a super hero for Travis!!!Thanx for the heads up on male ego.